


Where The Heart Is

by Lyn



Series: Life Is A Bridge Series [4]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 05:05:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9219986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyn/pseuds/Lyn
Summary: In the aftermath of the events of Cold Lazarus, Jack visits his son's grave and realizes that he never lost him at all but that he has indeed gained a family.





	

Someone, at least, had taken his ‘leave a light on’ comment literally, Jack realized as he stepped through the event horizon and into the gate room. He wasn’t surprised to see Daniel standing at the base of the ramp.

"So, how did it go?" Daniel asked as he kept pace with Jack through the corridors. "Everything okay?"

Jack nodded. He didn’t really feel like talking, not yet.

"Do you want to grab a beer, maybe talk?"

"No, but thanks." Jack gave Daniel a grateful smile, knowing if anyone could understand the need to just be alone and process the awful events of the previous few days, Daniel would.

"Sure, no problem. You know where I am if you need me.” Daniel gestured over his shoulder. “I’ve got some work to do so I’ll see you later."

“You bet.” Jack sketched a wave and headed for the exit.

~o0o~

He hadn’t been here since the funeral but it seemed different now somehow. On that dismal day eighteen months ago, a whispered condolence had sounded as grating as fingernails on a chalk board, the bright children’s posies that adorned Charlie’s small white coffin had seemed garish and out of place, the rain that drizzled constantly from the iron gray sky had been as cold as the chill in his heart.

As he made his way to the children’s area today, a light shower of rain fell from a sun-drenched sky, the moisture cooling on his warm skin. Birds sang in the trees that overlooked the tiny plots, fresh, bright flowers bordered each small place of rest and the atmosphere seemed to drape his shoulders like a cloak of comfort.

He stood for a moment looking down at the small square stone that marked Charlie’s grave. Kneeling, he brushed gentle fingers over the tiny angel carved into one corner, cringing when he remembered his angry words to Sara in the funeral parlor.

"I don’t need a marker to know where my son is," he’d shouted, watching her flinch from the words as though they were physical blows. "I put him there."

Sighing, Jack lowered himself to the grass, not caring about the dampness that seeped into the seat of his jeans. He reached forward and plucked a single daffodil from the paper-wrapped bundle beside him, placing it into the little vase in front of him.

"Hey, Charlie. I bet you’re surprised to see me here,” Jack began softly. “No more than I am. I never thought I’d come here. I always told myself that I didn’t need to visit your grave. You were gone and that’s all that mattered. But I met someone yesterday who made me see things differently, who made me realize that you’ve been here with me all along."

He sat for a long moment and watched the trees in the distance swaying in time to the breeze. "I need to get some things straight with you. You need to know that you weren’t to blame for your mom and me breaking up. I think, if we were honest with each other, it would have happened anyway. I’m selfish, Charlie, and I didn’t consider you or your mom. You both needed me at home with you, but I was too busy off playing soldier to care. I need you to know though, that I never stopped loving you or your mom and I never will."

Jack finished placing the flowers into the vase then set it back in its niche atop the marker. "I’m still playing soldier, you know, but this time, I think… I hope, that I’m doing it for the right reasons. I’ve got a good team with me, Charlie. You know I hadn’t realized it until now, but maybe the reason we get along so well is because we all share one thing. Each and every one of us has lost someone special. Carter… you’d like her, Charlie, I can see you now flirting with her, batting those big baby blues at her and she’d be falling for it hook, line and sinker." He chuckled. "Anyway, Sam’s dad is kinda disappointed in her because she didn’t go to NASA and join the space race. The hardest thing for her is that she can’t tell him that she got something way better than NASA. So she has to deal with his disappointment, knowing she can never tell him the truth. Teal’c, sometimes I think Teal’c’s lost more than any of us – his home, his wife, he’s got a son too, about the age that you were when…" Jack sighed and pulled the baseball glove he’d brought from his jacket pocket, straightening it out, rubbing his fingers into the worn leather. "He’s a good man, Charlie, a good soldier, one of the best. Then there’s Doctor Daniel Jackson."

Jack paused for a moment as rain began to fall more heavily, quickly drenching him. "I think we're all Daniel has left in the world. Life just keeps tossing him these curveballs but he never loses faith. He believes that he’ll find his wife one day and bring her home and his faith is so strong that he’s got me believing it too. I just hope he’s got that same faith in us to help him achieve that. Who would have thought, huh? Jack O’Neill, best friends with a scientist? I never did like 'em. But Daniel, he’s different. He’s like the other half of me, the half that keeps me honest, the half that reminds me why we’re here, why we’re doing what we’re doing, even when it all seems hopeless. He’s the best of us, Charlie, just like you were the best of me and mom and when you were gone, there just wasn’t an us any more."

There was nothing more to say and he wondered if being here, saying it at all made any difference but he felt as though the weight that had pressed against his heart for so long had lifted, just a little. He stood and placed the mitt on the headstone next to the flowers. "I don’t really know why I brought this, I just felt like I needed to leave it here with you." He touched his fingers to his lips then pressed them to the etched letters of Charlie’s name. "I miss you, son," he whispered, "but I’m glad you’re okay. I promise I won’t lose you again. I know where you are now and I know it’s not here."

He turned away quickly, glad of the rain that washed away his tears. Walking with his head bent, he headed past the small stand of trees that lined the winding path back to the gate. "You want a ride, Daniel?"

A soaking wet, bedraggled figure emerged from the trees and Daniel shook his long hair sending water spraying into the air. "I drove here,” he said. “I wasn’t… eavesdropping."

Jack nodded but kept walking. "I know. How did you know where I was?"

Daniel hurried to catch up, his shoes squelching as they oozed water over the sides. "I didn’t," he said, glancing quickly at Jack before looking down to concentrate on his steps. "I just knew where I’d be if I’d experienced what you did." He stopped and placed a hand on Jack’s arm, not speaking until Jack turned to face him. "I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to come here." He waved a dripping hand around them. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Jack rolled his eyes, impatience flaring briefly then he remembered his words to Charlie. "I’m fine. Thanks. It’s nice to know someone’s looking out for me."

Daniel smiled. “It’s what we do, right? All of us.”

“Yeah.” Jack clapped Daniel on the shoulder and gestured toward the parking lot. "Now, can we get out of here? In case, you hadn’t noticed, it’s raining."

They walked in companionable silence. Pausing by Jack’s car, Daniel said, "You’re lucky, you know, Jack, having this, having somewhere to come to feel close to your son. I wish…" He shrugged as his words trailed off.

Jack nodded. "I know. But I’ve only just realized that I don’t need to come here to be close to Charlie. He’s always been with me." He tapped at his chest, over his heart. “I just needed someone to remind me.” He opened his door and climbed into the car then got out again. “Daniel!” He waited until Daniel turned back toward him. “You still feel like having that beer?”

Daniel nodded enthusiastically. “Sure. That would be great!”


End file.
